lydibug's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Virgo problems... Jaf and Alicia have fallen on hard times and I feel completely selfish trying to ask for any advice of my own. We worked out for about an hour and a half, 20 minutes of which was pure talk about what she should do. I just don't think its right for someone to check their boy/girlfriend's email fishing for goodies to incriminate them. I told her that. I also told her that the issue at hand is not her not being able to trust him, but her not letting herself trust him. "And there's a difference... there's a difference." (Romy and Michelle quote RE: Sandy Frink...NEKO) Anyhoo- I seem to be battling a lot of my own demons these days. I talked to Justin yesterday about it. He had some very valid points. He said that it seemed odd that something external could have so much of an internal affect and he thought that there was more to the unhappiness I'm feeling than I am letting on. I'm just feeling very fake. Inauthentic with myself and those around me. I feel like nobody knows the truth, and I've disguised it so well, I've even lost track of what it really is. He suggested I write a big long letter to myself about anything and everything, and when I'm done, the problem should more or less be staring me right in the face. Like ont of those 3-D pictures you have to stare at for a while, but once you see it, its clear as day and you wonder why you could never see it before. I'm just battling my inner turmoil I suppose, as we all must do. I think I'm just too overly analytical. And a total perfectionist. What a shitty combination. Tom is coming over to work out the bank account matters for the band. (Grumble grumble grumble...) I have to go take a shower and try to make my house a little more presentable. Damn this being a Virgo! 1:22 pm - Sunday, Jul. 14, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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