lydibug's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scary Danny and I had a nice long talk last night at about 1 in the morning. Both of us admitting we're kinda scared about the future. What it boils down to is that both of us have certain urges that we think need to be dealt with before we commit to anything way serious with one another. Like living together isn't serious enough. I'm his first real relationship. I know that he's a guy and there are some urges that all guys get. He's quiet and shy and hasn't really been given the opportunity to 'sew his wild oats' if you get my drift. Its not that our relationship is faulty in any way. In fact its quite strong. The fact that we can even talk about stuff like this just makes me love him even more. And of course I must admit that my mind strays ever now and again to thoughts of other boys... one in particular. And its this feeling inside that I haven't been given the chance to persue things that I have certain gut feelings about. It's all kinda scary. I mean, we live together. We have our kitties and our home and we love eachother so much. So what do we do? How can we insure that we end up together in the end. How do we even know that that's whats meant to happen? To think of him being out there with other women makes me physically ill. He's mine. I can't stand the thought of him with anyone but me. But its a double edged sword. And its all quite natural at this age. And its all quite scary. 12:58 pm - Thursday, Jan. 16, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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