lydibug's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Poor Little Fool I think I have some form of depression or just some really severe mood swings due to hormonal changes or something. I'm all up and happy and at peace with the world one day, and wanting to fall off the face of the earth the next. It's really strange. Just not me. I'm wondering if I need to change my bc prescription. Yesterday I had a monster headache from hell. It prevented me from going to work and didn�t subside until about 11:00pm. I tried everything for it. EVERYTHING. Nothing was helping. After I went to my chiropractor, I stopped at my mom�s and spent the rest of the day there, being taken care of. She had to do some kind of weird radioactive testing (iodine?) to see if there are anymore cancerous cells remaining from her thyroid so she was home all day. My other bird, Joe, is now dying of either old age or lonliness. He walks in circles and keeps his little eyes closed. I can�t tell if he�s able to get any water down. I don�t know what we should do with him. I�m not even sure he made it through the night. My mother found out that her transient friend has died. At least, we think it was her. My dad had been listening to news radio and heard that a transient woman between the ages of 35 and 50 had been found burned behind a local grocery store. This was her turf. Her name was Charlotte and she was a tall blonde woman who we�d see quite often. She always hung around the same area and I guess my mom had spoken with her on more that one occasion. What�s with everything dying on me lately? And so you see, there�s not much happy news to report from camp Lydia. I had to stop myself from writing a letter this morning because I realized that it was just very negative and very selfish. I�m glad I decided not to go ahead with it. It�s so very one sided, this letter writing campaign. I realize that so many things could be a lot worse. I read other people�s diaries and think to myself, �Self. You are so spoiled and selfish. Get off it already and just be thankful for all of the wonderful people you know and the wonderful life you live.� But I just can�t. It�s all so mundane and routine. There�s nothing new or exciting. I�m too young to feel this old and exhausted. Seriously. What is my problem? I joke, but am I really depressed? My mom is leaving for Phoenix today at 4. She and my brother are going to visit my Aunt Jill over Easter Weekend. We�ve never gone out to see her before. My mom also informed me that she and my dad and brother will be joining my Auntie Rachel and Uncle Jessie this June/July in Hawaii. It�s right at the end of the month when I�m scheduled to be moving. How conveeeeeeeenient. Besides that, they didn�t even think about asking me if I wanted to go. I am feeling like the wicked stepchild more than ever. I miss my Auntie Rachel a lot. She's such an amazing lady. Woe is me. See what I�m saying? I should just stop my whining. I�m such a little princess. Ok. Enough. No Doubt�s acoustic version of �Underneath it All� just came on, and there�s food here. Sweeeet. 11:19 am - Friday, Apr. 18, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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