lydibug's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't Judge. I got an email on Friendster from a friend of mine the other day. She shared her same personal experience from a few months ago...And I wrote her back: Wow. I wish I had known earlier. It would have been really great to be able to go to you for support. My mom was totally supportive, but I was too embarassed to tell anyone else really. I told my friend [Bob] and my friend [Suzy], cuz [Suzy] has been in the same boat as well, but she's all the way in New York and was only able to help me from a east coast telephone. I had my [procedure] yesterday, though. It was pretty bad right after but I wasn't bleeding a lot or anything. I just had REALLY killer cramps. This morning I woke up and my uterus was hurting a little... sounds weird, but I could tell exactly what was hurting and where it was. Not to be gross, but it almost felt like really bad gas pains or something. I already feel better though. No nausea, no lack of energy, etc. I'm feeling a little depressed and lonely because I've been doing nothing but staying in my little cave these past few weeks and all of my friends have more or less just decided to give me my space. It's kinda surreal. I feel so much better, but not. I guess I'm just restless. But my goodness, I'm so glad I have someone to talk to about it. I definately don't regret my decision earlier. I mean, hell, I'm only 21! I just feel kinda silly for having gotten myself into this situation. And its hard not telling the people I'm closest to for fear that I'll be shunned, i.e. my [friend]. He's the closest thing I have to a best friend and I feel like he would hate me forever if I told him. I'm sure he wouldn't, but I don't know what his reaction would be. I just would love for him to be able to support me right now. He's been really concerned about me being sick so much lately. Should I just tell him? I mean, its all over and done with now.... hmmm... probably not still. Anyway, sorry to be a jabber box, but I've been holding so much of this in for so long. I really appreciate you writing to me and extending your support. You're a great gal and I'm super glad we became friends. Guess it was meant to be. Our lives are just too eerily similar sometimes! :o) Anyhooo- now you know why I was unable to make it to your [event]. I'm ever so sorry. It's been a rough past 7-8 weeks. But I've learned my lesson and hopefully things can only get better from here on out. Thank you again, [friend]. I really appreciate this. 11:30 am - Saturday, Feb. 21, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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